mary.pellie: Today I am Determined

not to lose it.

I am determined to not let disobedience & disrespect “get to me”.

I am determined to respond to disobedience with gentle firmness. To be straight-forward, not guilt inducing (it is not my job to lay guilt on my children). To speak with clarity & decisiveness. To give reasonable guides that remain consistent, walls of comforting safety that do not move no matter how much they are pressed against. Walls that are meant for safety and focus, not for my own convenience (however tempting that may be).

I am determined to be this consistent foundation even when they throw fits.
When children who are much too old to make their faces turn down in such exaggerated frowns over reasonable request like “Please change out of those shoes (the shoes that are so raggedy that the toes are about to show) and put on pants that don’t have a large rip in the knee and please don’t forget socks, we are going to daddy’s work today and I would like everyone to look nice” -when such a request is met with an all out fit, I am determined not to lose it.
I am determined, when the fit-thrower is calm, to deal patiently, calmly, decisively & firmly with the behavior and follow through with consistent correction. Anger towards such behavior is the natural response. I’m determined not to go there.

determination

I am determined to respond calmly to the child whose temper explodes when I attempt to motivate actions towards meeting a goal that this very child will be crushed not to have met when it’s time for the awards to be given out. I will not give up and say “Well, I tried. Why continue to try to help when the help doesn’t seem to be wanted.” But I know my child. I can look into the future much more easily because of my experience and see what will happen and so I try again.

I am determined in love.

I am determined not to take disrespect “personally”. I am determined to respond respectfully, an example to be followed. If I respond by “losing it” then the disrespect understandably deepens. I cannot demand respect in aggravation. I can-and must- expect it with patience.

It’s so hard, but I am determined.

And I am determined that when I fail in these determinations, I will do what is right. I will say “I was wrong. It was wrong of me to lose it. Please forgive me.”

And I am determined to try again.